No One Really Cares, Do They?
by WinryMarellie
Summary: Roxy comes to the realization that she is fighting a battle she can't win when it comes to her feelings towards Dirk. The thoughts hit her rather hard as she tries to cope with it but fails miserably. DirkxRoxy oneshot. Rated M mostly for cursing as well as some inappropriate actions.


Glazed eyes stared lifelessly at the ceiling lying above the teens head. It all seemed so far away, even though the real distance was maybe ten or so feet from her. She extended a hand, it felt heavy and lifeless, like she didn't have much control over it any longer, and she tried desperately to trace out shapes in the ceiling, but her mind could hardly focus so she simply gave up, allowing her arm to fall back down onto the bed mattress, a loud thump as it hit the blankets.

She continued to stare, trying to search for something to keep her mind off of everything, but failing horribly. She never should have drank anything when she was sad, she knew that quite well, but did it anyways, looking for that temporary fix, hoping for something to numb it all, but really it didn't work, it just brought all of her thoughts to the surface and made her think more.

Her body rolled over on the bed, her face in the pillow as she groaned, the fluffy pillow muffling her sounds as thoughts plagued her mind. She sometimes wished she could just drink herself stupid, get herself wasted enough where she didn't remember anything, where nothing in the world mattered or could bother her.

She just wanted to drink to forget.

The teen's head turned to face her open laptop, screen laminated as the pester chum window flashed continuously. No one was online except for him, the others off in bed most likely, after all, it was getting late, and her friend was known for going to bed early, being that good natured child and all, and the other boy…well, she really could not have cared less for him.

Normally, it was something she would have found enjoyable, getting to talk to someone, receiving a little attention, but today she was debating as to whether or not she even wanted to talk to anyone. Everything earlier had hit her like a cement block in the field of emotions, and she couldn't imagine wanting to deal with it any more.

However, she continued to stare at the blinking pester chum screen, the conversation from earlier still up, to remind her as to why she took up the bottle again, but now the conversation was slowly disappearing as the scroll bar moved down, revealing the new messages to her.

**TT: Roxy.**

**TT: Hey, are you even there?**

**TT: If you aren't going to answer, at least sign out of your chat client. You give people the wrong impression that you are available or something.**

**TT: It's been a while, is everything okay over there?**

**TT: You probably fell asleep, or passed out from drinking too much.**

**TT: Well when you wake up message me back. I want to make sure you are okay, it's been a few hours and it's not like you to just vanish like this.**

The messages had been popping up for the past hour or so, Dirk seemed awfully persistent to talk to her, at least for his standards. She stared at the orange text, still debating as to whether or not she could answer, but it was nice to receive a little attention from the Strider for once.

She pushed her body off of her bed, stumbling as she made her way to the chair, taking a seat as she propped her head up against her hand, letting out a heavy sigh as he typed into the keyboard.

**TG: yeahhh im her**

**TG: wat do u want**

**In a few short seconds there was a reply.**

**TT: What have you been up to?**

**TG: o yknow just stuff idk why?**

**TT: I'm just asking because earlier you left abruptly and then didn't reply to me for a while.**

**TT: That's not really like you.**

**TG: well yknow mayb erryons not like u think**

**TG: everyoe**

**TG: everyone***

**TT: Woah, chill out what's with the attitude suddenly?**

**TG: non of ur business k?**

**TT: Okay, okay, calm down. I'm just saying, you're being all touchy for no reason.**

**TG: well mayb i hav a reson an maye its noen of ur buiseness**

**TG: buisnes**

**TG:busyiness**

**TG: fuk it fuc all of this**

**TT: Hey, woah, okay something is up with you. Do you need to talk about it?**

**TG: no y don u just FUCK OF!**

**TG: OFF***

**TT: Hey, calm down, Roxy.**

**TG: NO!**

**TG: im not gona just calm dwon cuz i don want to!**

**TG: y shuld i eenv listn to u?TG: its not like i matter or nuthinTG: i mean cuz its totes obviuos that like im proriity numbr zero for him since like hes all about that othr dude an it all just sux!**

On the other end of the line, Dirk paused for a moment, staring at the screen through his pointed shades, hand over his mouth, squeezing at his jaw as he tried to think of an answer for her. She was drunk, he was well aware, and it all was falling into place for him as to why. She probably thought he was oblivious to it, and he wasn't entirely sure if that was good, or bad in her case. But really, now it was just a matter of trying not to piss her off more while she was in her drunken state.

**TT: …I'm coming over, Roxy.**

Her eyebrows pinched together in anger.

**TG: no fuck u i dont want to c u**

**TT: You can't stop me, I'm coming over.**

**TG: fine TG: fuck u u dick**

And with that, she slammed her laptop shut and her head fell into her hands. She could feel the warm tears trickle down her face as she realized slowly just how unfair she had been, and how royally fucked she just made herself in his eyes. She slammed a drunken fist on her desk, a few of the items falling off onto the ground.

All she wanted to do was scream. This overwhelming sense of anger just coursed through her suddenly, and she wanted to do something about it. Her fingers wrapped around the nearest object, the neck of one of the many empty bottles that filled her room, and she sent it soaring across the room only to hit the wall with the loud sounds of glass shattering into a million little pieces and fall to the floor.

Why couldn't that have been the end of the anger though? She just couldn't rid herself of that feeling in the pit of her stomach, and all she could think to do was just throw anything in her path. The pillows hit the floor, her mattress was flipped over, thinks were broken, shattered, flipped, turned, and all the while tears fell down her worst part, was in her doorway, stood Dirk, witnessing as she sent another bottle soaring across the room, shattering in a loud crash. He was instantly at her side, arm around her wrist before she could throw another. "Roxy, you need to calm down.

She turned on her heels, hand clenched into a fist as she aimed for his face, tears pouring down her face as she screamed at him, "GO AWAY!" at the top of her lungs, all of her power placed into her swing.

He caught her arm, "Roxy, stop it. I said you needed to calm down." He stared at her from behind his shades, and her eyes stared back at him, wide that he actually caught her wrist. She winced a bit at his grip, his strong hands restraining her at her thin, weak wrists.

Her lips trembled as she felt herself begin to cry again. All of her willpower had vanished, and she felt as though she were going to simply crumble beneath him. Her body felt weak as her knees shook, and before long, she fell into his chest, completely giving up.

Dirk released his grip on her wrists but held onto them gently as he lowered her arms, wrapping them around his waist as he made her hug him. Her arms hung there loosely for a moment as her tears soaked his shirt collar, and it wasn't until she felt his strong arms around her that her own arms moved to clutch tightly to the back of his shirt as she sobbed quietly.

They remained there for a moment until he lifted her up, carrying her into the other room in order to avoid all of the broken glass, had she chosen to fall down or go to sleep. After all, she was still rather drunk and he could tell.

He sat down on the living room floor and she sat in his lap, her head on his shoulder as she sat there, not wanting to look at him, not wanting him to see the make up running down her face.

"Are you feeling any better?" Dirk asked, his voice the only thing in the quiet night air aside from her quiet sobs.

She shook her head slowly, "No, I'm just…God I'm so pathetic, aren't I?"

"You aren't pathetic, Roxy."

"Yes I am…" she whined a bit, her fingers tightening around his shirt. "I can't seem to get any shit right, not that it matters. I don't think anyone actually gives a shit about me, after all I'm just a drunken mess, I can't seem to get it right. Plus like, I don't even know what I'm doing wrong but it's like I'm invisible cause oh look, no matter what I try I just can't seem to impress no one and it really just sucks because I want to be noticed but it's like the hardest thing to do on this stupid planet. I probably totes deserve those void powers because I probably shouldn't even exist and-"

"Hey…" Dirk suddenly interrupted, a hand on top of her back as she stroked it comfortingly. He had seen her get like this all too much, and she had no one when this happened, and it was practically his job to make sure she didn't get like this. It was hard, because he hated to see it, but it's not like he could have relied on Jane to do anything about it, Roxy wouldn't have any of it, not to mention how impossible it was to see her. "Don't say things like that, it's not true."

"Yeah, it totally is." she retaliated, "No one loves me, I'm just some stupid girl who thinks she has a chance when really she doesn't."

Dirk stayed quiet in response. He understood why she felt that way and let out a small sigh, pulling her head back a bit to kiss her forehead comfortingly. "Don't say stuff like that."

She was quiet too for a moment, "Nah it's totally true…" she spoke with a trembling tone, "I love him and he don't even realize it. Not like he cares."

"He does, don't worry." Dirk sighed, holding her close. He had already said it so many times, but she hardly ever believed it.

Roxy sighed too, "Yeah, yeah. You keep saying that shit but when's it ever gonna really happen? Never. That's when." She looked up at him, staring for a moment before she buried her head in the crook of his neck.

"Roxy…" he sighed, and sat there for a moment, till suddenly he felt something at the base of his neck. "Hey…Hey! What are you doing?"

She pulled back a bit, lips giving his neck a quick kiss, "Nothing." she replied almost lifelessly.

"That does not feel like nothing, Roxy." Dirk replied firmly.

"Whatever…" she replied and continued what she was doing, her lips moving up further until they were at his jaw.

"Woah woah woah." he responded, pushing her back a bit, trying not to be forceful to her, "Who said you had permission to do that?"

"No one, but like, why does it even matter?" she asked, "It's not like we have anyone else, it's just us. Besides, you've done this for me before, even though I know it's totally just a pity fuck. But whatever, it makes me feel better."

"Yeah, but I hate toying with your emotions like this." Dirk responded firmly.

"What are you getting at?" she asked, looking at him with confusion. "Just fuck me okay? That's all I want right now, even if you don't give a shit about me."

"Roxy, you have to stop thinking with that mentality, this is why you feel like crap a majority of the time. Stop treating your body like it's worthless because it does a hell of a lot for you." he paused for a moment, "Roxy, I'm not just going to fuck you because it'll make you feel better, it's probably really emotional for you and I don't want to just push your emotions further and make you more upset."

"Dirk, shut up." she frowned, "Damn, I just want you to sleep with me one more time, okay? It actually makes me feel like I might be fucking important, even though I'm not doing anything but being a whore, still makes me feel kinda nice for a moment, and I want that."

"Drinking does the same and look at what you just did in there."

"I don't care. Shit." she turned her head away, "No one gives a fuck about me regardless, so who cares about my emotions, who I love, what I want, it's not like anyone is gonna want to sleep with me like it matters. We are the only ones left, and it's not like the guy I want even wants to be with me."

"Roxy will you stop saying that?" Dirk groaned, he was getting tired of the repetition of it all.

"Why can't I just say what I think is true?" She retorted, turning back to face him.

He looked at her from behind his shades, "Because it's not true."

"Wha-" Before she could respond, Dirk's lips pressed hard against her, hands wrapped around her shoulders as he squeezed them tight, pulling her so her entire body was on top of his. She tried to gasp for air between the kisses, but was failing rather horribly until he finally pulled away, lips moving to suck at her neck.

She panted heavily as his lips moved across her body, biting her neck, shoulders, collar bone. She closed her eyes as her fingers gripped tightly to his shirt, tugging at it as he tugged hers in response. He pulled away for a moment as he slipped it off over her head, arms quickly wrapping around her waist and back as he lowered her to the ground so she laid on her back.

She opened her eyes as she looked at him with a glazed stare, her fingers laced themselves into his hair as she stared at his face for a long while, just until her fingers ran across her shades, pulling them off slowly.

When they were removed, Dirk took no time to take off both his, and Roxy's remaining clothes until it was just the two of them, alone in the darkness.

"This isn't just another pity fuck, is it?" Roxy asked in a dazed tone.

"I never said they were…" Dirk replied, placing a kiss onto her lips.


End file.
